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Perfect

Lying on the bathroom floor holding on to as much light as they can, while the
world around is covered in darkness. The stench of nostalgia fills the air as
they try to move on from the past, but the past suffocates them instead. Every
breath reminds them of a memory they tried to forget, a memory they ran
from years ago, but it kept catching on to them as years went on. Nothing but
numbness. Pain? Pain was not a concept anymore, just utter nothingness.

Balls of hair covered the floor around them as a sign of weakness. The walls
felt like they were closing on them. Scared of tomorrow, not knowing if there
would be a tomorrow at all. Thinking of everyone that walked away from them,
everyone they wanted to make feel pain.

The idea of perfection plays over in their mind. To be the person they used to
be. Pretty, skinny, smart were adjectives used with their name a while ago but
never used again after the age of ten. Beating themselves over and over for
validation. Pushing everyone away in the process. Screaming but people being
too ignorant to hear. They push themselves to limits unknown.

How could their outside be so perfect but their soul so damaged, so dead?
Struggling to move but lifting themselves up with difficulty. Shivers go through
their body like an alarm telling them to stop. They walk to a mirror, a mirror
that judges what they deserve and what they don’t. They examine themselves
through the thin piece of plastic in front of them.

“I am perfect now,” they say.

Saesha Basnayake